techniques hosts use to persuade their guests to eat prodigious quantities of food

guilt trip this sly technique relies on your attention being diverted elsewhere to slide extra food onto your plate; it is often used during heated discussions. the guest may continue to eat everything on the plate (including the contraband), because they are focusing on the discussion and not on the meal. note that the use of trickery assumes the existence of "responsibility zones". guests are responsible for consuming any food items directly in front of them on the table. if the host can somehow manage to get another portion in front of you, you are responsible for eating it. discussions sometimes revolve around the size of these zones, especially when there are lots of small plates or bowls on the table. "no, no, no, that's not mine - thats your!"

  • food is slid onto your plate when you are not looking
  • a grape or round-nut is flicked in front of you as if it was a marble
  • a peach is rolled in front of you as if it was a lawn-bowling ball
kind request inebriation
shock and awe humor
respect/etiquette conspiracy
culture body language
history morality
lineage metaphysical
request for opinion competitiveness
compliments insult
bribe nagging
trade off connection
compromise peer pressure
physical char. imperative
temporal char. threat
need duress
preemptive strike forced feeding
trickery timing
chemical the future...

i have relatives that live in croatia, slovakia, hungary and israel and it is of utmost importance that their guests consume massive quantities of food. these hosts seem to feel personally insulted if you do not eat three, four or even five portions of the food that they are offering. initially i was critical of this forced-gluttony, but after reassessing the phenomena, i have become a connoisseur of their brilliant methodologies. my analysis of their techniques is intended to serve as the first step in the process of developing an effective counter-strategy.

although someone who eats large amounts of food on their own accord is the ultimate guest, those guests who succumb to these techniques generate a surprising level of joy for the host.

i have also not noticed a significant difference between the consumption of food that was prepared or purchased. one might think that a host would take more offense if food they slaved over was 'under-consumed'. it seems however, that the labor involved is not critical - all that matters is that massive quantities are ingested.